The Week in Quotes
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“When I scored that goal to knock out Manchester United, it was a very exciting moment. It was like having sex with Madonna.”
Paolo Di Canio on scoring the only goal as West Ham United won at Old Trafford in the fourth round of the 2000/01 FA Cup

"Do you know what it’s like in Argentina!? Going to matches here is like going to the theatre. This is Disney!”
Diego Simeone responds to being asked if it was tough dealing with the crowds in Spain

“CM Punk, the WWE champion, has [reigned] for 344 days, and he is like Juventus. They are both tough and great fighters. They take advantage of every little situation they can. For example, on Sunday at Hell in the Cell, he kept the title because he capitalised upon a low blow to his opponent.”
Fabrizio Miccoli

"Cristiano is a phenomenon. His style of play is unique. He is a player who, every day, wants to be better than he was yesterday. He's ambitious, with a huge ability to score goals and a very big influence in the dressing room. He is the greatest forward to ever wear the shirt of Madrid.”
Emilio Butragueno on Cristiano Ronaldo

"Who would I rather be, captain of Liverpool or Bond? Well, I don't think I could keep up any more so Bond will do. But Steven Gerrard would make a good Bond. He is a good leader so you know what, seriously, who knows?"
Daniel Craig, the Liverpool fan who plays James Bond

“I've been fortunate to win the award three times. It’s massive, unbelievable. But I'm going to come to a year when I don’t win it. This year I will vote for Xavi, Andres [Iniesta] and definitely one of my countrymen. But I think it could be [Iker] Casillas’s Ballon d'Or. There’s also Cristiano [Ronaldo].”
Lionel Messi

“When I hear the PSG supporters talking about today’s players, they forget about the superstars of the past. David Ginola was two or three times they player Menez is, Valdo carried one Pastore in each of his legs, and Ricardo [Gomes] was one of the best centre-backs in the word just as Thiago Silva is now. But it’s because there is a lot of new PSG supporters. They don’t know about Susic, Dalheb, Bianchi.”
Eric Di Meco

“This summer, in order to motivate him, I promised Stephan I’d pay for him to go on holiday if he reached seven goals before December. I get the feeling I’m going to have to pay up on that bet. To be honest, I didn’t have much belief he’d get there!”
Massimo Ambrosini on a bet he made with AC Milan team-mate Stephan El Shaarawy

"When I was younger, we always wanted to play in conditions like this, but we were not allowed to because mum didn't want to do all the washing. Now we can play in these conditions, but nobody wants to."
Jurgen Klopp on his Borussia Dortmund team playing in the mud at Freiburg

"Parents sometimes speak, give their opinions, and that's that. I stopped living with him 12 years ago. I have become a man and he has not always been there in that process. He does not live with me and so he does not know what my dreams and goals are."
Falcao responds to his father saying the Atletico Madrid striker planned to join Real Madrid

"Football remains one of the mysteries of life and you never know how it will end. That's why I feel watching Barcelona is quite boring. They would be even more boring to watch without Lionel Messi. I prefer quicker and a more direct style of football – a counter-attack, three touches of the ball, and then a shot on goal."
Massimo Moratti

“Mourinho has done the least amount for the youth team and nor will he do any more. He only wants to win and he is not interested in bringing a youth player into the senior team and succeeding with that. He only wants personal success. If we took a list of players that I gave debuts to, we wouldn’t finish. At Madrid things are very clear. There's the first team and few things come after it.”
Bernd Schuster

"Marseille needed the money. I thought QPR were a Scottish club, but I said to myself, ‘Why not if it’s good for them and me?’.
Stephane Mbia on joining Queens Park Rangers

“For me, there are three players who are better than the rest: Iniesta, Ronaldo and Messi. But the best is Messi. There is nobody who can do the things he does. "To play alongside Messi would be a dream. Even just training with him would make me very happy.”
Neymar