"Ibrahimovic is so big-headed. People make him think he's intelligent, but he's as thick as two short planks. He's not a caricature, but he’s not far off. He's an out-and-out bully. If PSG want to progress they need to get rid of him. You can't ask him to accept playing upfront alongside someone because he's too stupid. Ibrahimovic is like [Florian] Thauvin. They both need a good slap. These people have chick peas for brains and treat others like idiots."
Jean-Paul Bertrand-Demanes, the former France goalkeeper

"If you don’t know the answer to that question then I think you are an ostrich. Your head must be in the sand. Are you flexible enough to get your head in the sand? My suspicion would be no. I can, you can’t. You are either being very, very silly or you are being absolutely stupid – one of the two. You are daft.”
Nigel Pearson responds to a reporter’s question about criticism of his Leicester City players

“I think boring is going ten years without winning the title – that’s very boring. But maybe they were not signing to us, because when you are at home, and you want to win the game, and you take your No9 off, maybe they wanted more.”
Jose Mourinho hits back at the Arsenal fans’ chants of ‘Boring, boring Chelsea’

"I am happy that players attempt the ‘Panenka’ penalty, and that journalists talk about it and fans enjoy it. Players like Francesco Totti and Zinedine Zidane have also done it, but Messi’s was the most beautiful of all. Not too powerful, down the middle and looping – his technique is impressive and the goal is just further proof of his amazing talent.”
Antonin Panenka on Lionel Messi’s ‘Panenka’ penalty versus Getafe

"Ronaldo could play for Millwall, QPR, Doncaster Rovers or anyone and he'd score a hat-trick. I'm not sure Messi could do it. Ronaldo's got two feet, he's quick, he's good in the air and he's brave, though Messi's brave too of course. I just think Messi is a Barcelona player.”
Sir Alex Ferguson

“I’m just mortified by the whole thing. It was a daft prank. It wasn’t like I threw the pole out of anger or anything like that. That’s not what happened. I threw it for a laugh – stupid me trying to be funny – and unfortunately it’s anything but. It’s a total disaster.”
Steven Thompson explains how he accidentally threw a spiked pole through St Mirren team-mate John McGinn’s leg

“The aftershocks have started to subside, but for two days it was frightening. I was at my apartment when it came. I had my family gather underneath a door frame. The building swayed back and forth. The longer it happened, the more scared you got. The aftershocks have been terrible since you don’t know when it all is going to end or when the next one will come. It’s the second ones that really create the terror. At night it is cold, rainy, and wet. You have people outside because they don’t have the shelter. They don’t trust that their building will hold up. They are staying outside and kind of camping out. There were reports that another big quake was coming and that created more of a fear. It’s just terrifying for people.”
Jack Stefanowski, Nepal’s American coach, who was in Kathmandu scouting players at the time of the devastating earthquake

“Just because we no longer get on does not mean I’ve lost my admiration for him as a footballer. There's a reason why John and Nemanja have the type of noses they do and that's because they like to attack every ball.”
Rio Ferdinand on Messrs Terry and Vidic

"My advice for Sebastian Kehl is: if you have a 35-point deficit in the league, it is better to shut up.”
Pep Guardiola responds to the Borussia Dortmund’s players remarks about Bayern Munich’s penalty-taking

"I'd say Carrick has the qualities of a Scholes, Andrea Pirlo and Sergio Busquets.”
Gary Neville

"Xavi’s a player from another galaxy. He’s very strong physically. Get the ball to him and he’ll always get it back to you – he simply never loses it.”
Luis Enrique

“It doesn't matter how you win, if you win. People like to see us playing nice football – clever turns and everything – but that doesn't count now. It doesn't matter how ugly or terrible it is – long balls – people can say whatever they want. It doesn't matter. I want to win. I need to win!”
Roly Bonevacia of Wellington Phoenix